That ‘funny’ feeling…now it’s gone. Oh-hohoho…

Don’t know about you guys but I seriously had this ‘problem’.

Did you know my daily ritual of wajib minum kopi? During the first half of the Holy Month of Ramadhan, my preparations for sahur & iftar wont be complete unless there was a hot steaming mug of coffee (among other things) served on the table. I’ve been adding portion of 3-in-1 oat drinks (for sahur) too for that extra ‘Ummppp!’ (not eating much veges & fruits – so sue me)

Then I started ‘breaking wind’(fart, flatulence - whatever you call it) – here, there & everywhere…Hehehe…


Er, not that funny at all.


Not when you burped/belched all day long (like every 10min - not that Im checking the time), aside from farting (nasib baik not as frequent and NO SMELL at all, this I’m sure off 'k), feeling nauseated & queasy (to the extent of throwing up sometimes – tak sengaja) which consequently causes me a lot of embarrassment as my colleagues (outside) might think I’m eating alone in the office (makan kenyang kah sampai sendawa? Coz dah ada kes ni hahaha), rushing through prayers, inconvenience of trying to hold ‘it’, etc.

Until one bright sunshiny day, a light-bulb moment happened to click in my mind, “It must be all the coffees (on empty stomach)!!!” (Nope, not such thing lah…a concerned friend merely asked about my current diet!)

Will drinking Eno helps? No.

Did I eat such & such foods which together produced the most powerful, gaseous combinations inside the tummy? Mostly not I guess. Nasi Goreng? Kue Teow? Roti? Nah.

Later today I found out that oats – the fibre on a ‘dried’, empty stomach, not enough water….Not good!"Buat mereka yang mengambil oat... kekurangan air akan menyebabkan angin memandangkan ia terdiri daripada serabut yang tinggi." Puasa Pakar Diet, K*smo

So, it’s been 5 whole days (& nights) of UNCOFFEEnated myself. Lessen the turmoil. Though I might start to hallucinate. Withdrawal symptom.

But tea also not good enough. (both caffeine in coffee & theine in tea, acting as stimulant, are diuretic)

Been treating myself with halia + madu drinks. Urghhh!

Added some horlicks to trick my mind of ‘the delicious taste & smell’. Almost better. A lil’ bit.

Any other plausible suggestions?

Psst! The title came from an old 70’s song that is playing on my mind – lyric tweaked accordingly to my finicky taste. Double entendre? If only you know ‘the story’..

Letting off steam...

Caveat: Ngomelan panjang ahead. Be warned. You’re not supposed /obliged to say or think anything in reply. But I do appreciate your comments! Muah2!

It’s that time of the year again!!! *Sigh*

This Saturday is the start of Convo week. The 1st day (& morning session only) of convocation is extra special coz those graduates get to receive their scrolls from the Yamt*an Besar himself who is the Chanc*llor of U*M. The rest of the sessions – bukan Yamt*an lah – maybe the Lax*mana (apsal ntah guna ejaan ni pdhal Laksa-dari-mana lagi best!), pro-chanc*llors & lain2 org besar berjawatan. So, utk phd FEP –ikut nasib gak lah like this year turn depa dpt 1st morning session ni.

Citer psl convo ni – it’s quite tiring really + penat & boring giler nak tunggu either luar or dalam dewan tu (unless it’s your turn on stage lah kan) – crowded & either too hot (outside) or too cold (inside) ok! Previous years, I did celebrate kawan2 senior (but younger) yg konvo – posing2 amik gambar & kasi hadiah (pening weh nak pikir!) etc.

So this year, ada quite a few lah my geng yg konvo – depa dah kasitau awal2 ni nak booking (marked my calendar as I’m the VIP of the celebration) hehehehe…

But I feel like ‘kureng amat2 nak celebrate’ coz..
A. Myself belum pun submit thesis – perasan byk keje ok!
B. Supposedly konvo sekali (very sedeyyy!) dgn depa ni coz we ols took same papers mah! *Sob2*
C. Sure terserempak dgn para prof: Owh, you’re still here!!! *sakitjiwodennanti& mananaklari*
D. Simply not in the mood. Stress. Whatever.

(Tahun depan pun belum tentu lagi naik stage. Nah, that’s not important at all – a none issue. I’m already thinking of doing thing alone – all by myself & quietly!)

Even ‘adik’ u*m pun msg recently: Saya konvo 9 ogos. Tak nak dtg ke?

Alahai kesian la pulak….yelah..other than family members sape lagi yg nak dtg meraikan (phd is a lonely business bukan macam undergrad yg beramai2 itu)? Esp klu family jauh nun kat p*nang! And then, the day itself kira macam ada popularity contest gak according to how many friends & family that surround you with flowers & presents galore..

Another thing, if my adik’s mak & kak are around – how am I going to be introduced? Kawan? Kakak? Rakan sekerja? Takutnya disalah anggap!!

Thank God, my sis already booked my time since the last 2 weeks – am supposed to babysit her kids during the next weekend. I guess, my dilemma solved! Tapi, agak2nya kecik ati tak?

So smses send out:
"Salam tahniah. Hajat hati (ikhlas really!?) mmg nak raikan kwn2 yg konvo tp 8-10hb tu dah ada date lain lak kat S’ban (quite a distance considering petrol & toll charges, some more with kids in tow) nun. Sori.."

Nobody bothers to reply. Hmmm….apakah?

Pastu nak citer pasal ‘having 2 house is like having 2 wifes’- an analogy ye!

Antara bangi & kajang ‘homes’ & my 2 friends – B & V

The other day, me & B had a dinner date. The arrangement was such that I picked her up direct from the house after maghrib. Considering that I had my prayer in the faculty (quite a distance) before driving off to pick her up, I sorta expected that by 8pm she’ll be ready! So, I drove in a couple of minutes late (almost-punctual is my forte! Not like some ppl e.g. ada org tu yg berjanji nak jumpa kul 9 di klia tp kul 8 masih di ampang & baru bangun - Gulp! As if I’m going to forget?) & honked! Once…and then twice!
Then only I noticed her msg – she gonna be late. Thus, I waited inside the car with the engine running- no problem, i thought.

How wrong! She was so mad – she got into the car after some time – I was making small talk & she’s like - replying to the window screen??! Ok lah lagi…Then we got to the mamak’s restaurant, ordered as usual & started to talk. Then only I noticed her tone of voice – strained & she kept looking to the side! Now I know she’s mad at me!!! Merajuk lah tu…

Note: If you’re my friend, don’t you ever, ever show your muka-44 in front of me! If you’re not happy with anything, tell me straight to my face! I can take almost anything! Er, except harsh criticism, scolding, etc.

When I met my bro for handing over his portion of buah2an dr kampong recently – I told him the above story since I need to explain anyway why some days I’m in bangi & the other in kajang (note to family & friends – if you want to meet me nowadays, ONLY by appointment ya). I said, “Leceh rupanya ada dua rumah ni!” You know what he said, “Ha, mcm tu lah abang rasa!” FYI, he’s married with 2 wifes! LOL

Interframe: No lesb*anism involved at all in any aspect of this story. If that’s on your mind, shoooh2!!

Leading single (or not-so-single) lifes, I understand that we, staying-alone females, tend to crave attention – to be listened at. When I go home every day, I get to listen to this:

Eh, ngko dengar la citer aku dulu! OR You ni, dengar la citer i!

Maybe not so much of them but more like problem of me – I like to barge in the middle of the story telling – anything goes from office gossips to family squabbles. In defence, all I could say is that, if I were to wait until the end of the session, I’ll lost whatever that I’ve in mind whether it’s comparison-stories, suggestions, or comments! Anyway, don’t expect me to listen to you silently….you can label me whatever you want – like to talk ke, byk mulut ke…I can’t simply keep quiet, much more to shut my mouth!

Advert: BTW, just because you gave me money doesn’t mean that you own me or my time or my profusely-sweating hardwork! (nothings to do with the above story yo!). I deserve so much more! *satuluahanperasaan*

Huh! Ok, let’s continue.

I think I’m being rather good now at switching roles between The Houses. On the one hand, I’m the M’am Besar (Me as Ibuk) with a bibik (who cook wonderful dishes according to my taste) at my disposal…hehehe. And on the other hand, there’re two makciks (old ladies) – well, that’s our endearings name-calling if you wanna know! – who burn the midnight oils together! (Well, a half truth if not too much of an exaggeration…)

Now that they’re getting to know me better – we’re starting to make advance planning so that I know which weekend & which house that my presence is being valued the most- at least for the whole August!

In terms of household chores, I try to do my parts - at least looking after myself. After all, as mentioned by V – even in Islam – after 3 days, I’m no longer a mere guess in the respective house! Say, I use my own personal bathroom different from theirs so I clean it up from time to time. Now, B even asked my permission to use my bathroom which is in HER house!

As ‘man of the house’ (providing security & peace of mind – hic!), I offer advices/reminder such as: don’t forget to defrost! Your fridge is no longer cooling efficiently! And do remember to bring up the same matter in both homes. And the jokes now is how many economists and/or accountant it takes to defrost a fridge? And after how long? Er, maybe just buy a new one? Hahah!

Nobody is the ever the same. Thus, one is a lover of the furry animals while another is totally abhorrent of the idea that the neighbour’s pets dare to pass by & pissed in her porch!

Now, isn’t the right time!

Well, this is regarding another match-making attempt. Please, I’m not interested in the young ones. 30yo!!! A minor improvement from 29yo I guess but I’m old enough to mother them (if not smother) ok! With the current ongoing race-towards-the-finishing-line (that sounds SOOO much better!) I couldn’t afford to get distracted- sorry! And the process of getting to know guys who don’t know what they want yet – what a waste of my time! Well, maybe next year…. (gotta keep my ‘doors’ open you see!)

Weekly Life’s Update – for the record

Refer previous Case #1- B’s Myth of bunga serai
Bukan senang nak cari,
Bukan sebarang orang boleh petik.

Chocolate
This is another perfect example of self-sabotage. Yes, I do love chocolates. But I take extra-conscious effort not to buy any…or even look in the shelves direction. Coz I’m already putting on extra weight as it is. Then, there’re these people who gave me chocolate..
From Belgium..


From Kazakhstan…
Together with the note: To be share with my nephews and nieces…
Problem is chocolate melt easily….and I’m salivating now!



P/s: When I was studying for my degree (thus with much younger metabolism rate), I constantly ate a sneakers or mars bar a day (in lieu of proper lunch)…at one time during Christmas and a cold, cold winter away from home –I bought the biggest comforting chocolate bar ever for moi – 1.5kg! Finished it within a week I did! And it went straight to my bulging tummy, arms, thighs etc and remains there forever!!!

Multitasking@work


Refer previous Case #3 – It’s all hearsay lah.
My friend ittew suspected that somebody from the car-wash @ related to it did ‘it’.
A couple of days before the incident (during the weekend), she sent the car to the usual car-wash in the neighbourhood. Her sis did recently spilled something on the car seat, so she was told that the process will take longer than usual as they needed to taken out the seat and everything. So she left the car (and keys too since they needed it to move the car around) & went for lunch, later for prayer at home. (Lotsa my friends do this esp. at the basement car-wash @W*arta, XXX – it’s called multitasking as they got to have shopping done at the same time altogether with lunch/dinner)

On Monday morning, she went down to her normal parking place. There’s no sign of broken glass or whatsoever. She might had mistakenly parked her car elsewhere so she walked around the neighbourhood to look for it. No where to be found. She used triple lock system for the car – alarm, steering-lock and gear-lock. No sound of alarm during the night.

Take home lesson for you and me: My Ah Long is always right (Insert: See, I told you so...) He always remind me not to ever leave my car with the keys whether it’s the workshop, service centre, car-wash & always waited there myself (sama2 menyibuk belek kete) for whatever had to be done. (As an aside, that’s why my driving-world is so sunyi nowadays – no melalak2 karaoke. The CD player went totally kaput – I do not have the time to go to sebarang bengkel alone (tak berani) or with him (need to make appointment la pulak-where got time?). Bro#3 said the radio can be saved still).

Another lesson is not to put together in one bunch – car keys & house keys. Vic told me of another case (source: email) where a guy was hold at knifepoint when he went to withdraw money from an atm machine. Got him to withdraw all the money but still not enough though. The may-he-get-the-punishment-soon-thief asked for the car keys & drove away with it. The guy walked home only to find his house was ransacked and his wife was rape. I hate to hear such devastating crimes…

Ala2 terhutang budi, tergadai body (it's for me to know...)
Dear Darling ‘T’,
Lama kan tak update about your significant progress? I guess people out there must be wondering whether you get the appropriate attention from moi.

Well, I do admit that I’ve been taken a lil bit off track this week. At least now that I’ve got the conference paper’s (readings for idea mostly) abstract out of the way (co-authors - though another one is over-due but then it’s internal so…), so I can spend more time & exclusively be with you. I’m hoping to be able to work on both concurrently since it’s all under ‘The Same Grand Idea’ but alas I need to prioritize….as work is piling up!

Now that the dateline is looming nearer, I’m starting to get cold sweat as whether I can wrap up things on time as promised to my Numero Uno and Immediate Bos. Pray for moi…

Sincerely,
-rad-

Livin’ out a suitcase/backpack/plastic bag/rattan bag
In between B and Vic (and then there is also 'demands' from my big family), I am experiencing something almost like a ‘poligamy’ hehehe….

Brings to mind the song by Ukay’s: Di Sana Menanti Di Sini Menunggu
(Note: Sila googled or youtubed for better feel of the story here)
….
Kalau ku pilih di sini
Apa kata di sana
Kalau ku pilih di sana
Di sini akan terluka
Perlukah aku pilih keduanya
Bahagi kasih adil-adilnya
….

Di sana hanyalah menanti
Sampai bila pun ku tak pasti
Bertanya khabar melalui tinta
…

Dan di sini tetap menunggu
Berada jelas di mataku
Kasih tak luak terhadap aku
Sanggup menunggu kata putusku

Both are my friends with the same need for moi – awwww….. They stay alone for different reasons.
When I was staying overnite with B, Vic messaged me – asking when I’m free…
Then I stayed with Vic – B messaged me when will I come over…
These happened for quite a number of rounds.
Both did say that it’s okey for me to stay with the other person who is in more dire need. But immediately texting me the next day for future arrangement/bookings…hahahaha!

That was why between the two of them (for the past couple of weeks plus my Sis#3’s situation), I need to squeeze in dinner-out together in order to catch up with my housemates (long updates here but better not go into this now).

Remember Rad’s Escorts & Services Sdn Bhd?
Well, maybe I should charged these people for my services. No lah, after all they’re friends and family right?
Though somebody did mention for me to ask for credit top-up! *apamotif?*
Vic promised me S*cret R*cipe (vegetarian meals perhaps?).
B willingly cooked for moi – awww…. And offer to help with my translation some more.
Vic’s Malay neighbour mentioned in passing too that perhaps I could make money by charging RM8 per night!
But then my last ‘professional rate’ was RM80 on hourly basis!
*Gasp!* Forget it lah..it all comes under community service! Really...

Honest Intention (Manis’s Story- nama adalah ditukar)
(Note: This one comes under Rad’s Marriage/Relationships & Consultations Bureau)

Dear Auntie Rad (ala2 Agony Aunt),
I’m writing to you since I’ve no one else to turn too. I have a cousin, Manis, who confided in me her secret other life. You see, she has been working in a small office under a much older boss since she was 22yo. The boss, a sole proprietor, is married with kids, few of whom are around the same age as her. She does almost all the works in the office from big to small administrative works (finance, personnel etc.) to arranging his personal life affairs. Working in proximity within a close environment, the inevitable eventually happen. They started an ‘affair of the heart’.

She comes from a good and decent family (like me- it’s genetic!). The father had passed away and she, an only child, live with the mother. For the past couples of years or so, few of the concerned relatives have been trying to match her with guys, one after another, in view of marriage. All of which didn’t work at all.

Our culture and religion is such that poligamy is not made possible. Even if it’s allowed, she doesn’t want him to divorce his wife of said-so many years. But he did say that he will divorce her, earlier on in the relationship. She’s now 30yrs old & still waiting for him to make an honest woman out of her. People is starting to notice and talk. After all, we’re all living in the same small town. However, the associated stigma of being The Other Woman may simply turns out to be too much for the mother.

Lately, the guy starts to belittle whatever that she does at work, using harsh words unnecessarily. Since she only confided in me, I’m worried that she’s putting herself under too much pressure at work and the bubble might burst one of these days. For her, either she becomes the illegal wife or life has no meaning at all. I don’t want her to take her own life merely for a guy undeserving of her love and affection. Please advice.

Love,
A Cousin

Dear A Cousin (& Manis too),
From my vantage point, the guy is merely taking you for a joyride & trust me, nothing much will come out of it. To put it crudely, he’s taking advantage of your kind-hearted soul & getting cheap labour in the bargain too!

So what if he promised to divorce his wife? It’s been 8 years, (EIGHT BLOODY MISERABLE YEARS!!) to long for the status quo to remain unchanged right?
Hint#1 He is so NOT into you.

I remember reading this book by Olivia Goldsmith, 2004 -Wish Upon a Star (she also wrote The First Wife Club which eventually made it to the silver screen).

Conversation between two characters of the book, when Claire asked Mrs Patel’s opinion regarding her previous ‘boyfren’ who dumped her for The Other Woman (kononnya he was just amusing himself) & now coming back with tail between his legs asking for redemption from Hell.
Here is what Mrs Patel said (her owned husband had left her and kids):

When a guy is seriously considering to have a long lasting relationship with you, he definitely needs to give some sort of ‘tangible’ assurances.

“Does he give you tokens of good faith in behavior and goods
(a ring, for a start. Or a place to live).
Does he mean to take care of you and protect you?
If he does, how will he show it?“

…whether it makes up for the whatever wrong he has done to you earlier is another matter altogether..

“With men and women it is always the same.
Love and honor or betrayal and disgrace.
What else is there to consider?”

Hint#2. The way I see it , you’re the one who manage the office/business beyond your call of duty. Instead of appreciating all that you’ve done out of love, I suspected that he is looking for ways to slowly getting himself out of the entanglement of having an affair with you. Perhaps a younger, pliable Sweet Young Thing (SYT – to borrow UL’s jargon) already waiting in the sideline if not already being in existence.

My sincere advice is first, do yourself a favour - get out now! Leave him (instead of waiting for vice versa). Second, career-wise, it would do you good to immediately start looking for a better job elsewhere. Given the wealth of experience that you've collected over the years, you would go higher up the corporate ladder. Third, remember, you're made of a stronger stuff - he's only an old-bad, bald-man. There are better man out there for especially you to find out. God bless you.

-Auntie Rad-

My PS - jejak kasih
We’ve been playing phone-tagged for the past two weeks. The timing is always not right when either of us call the other. It’s just an excuse really. The thing is I’m scared of meeting her again after all these years – she’s married with two kids now -people might changed right? She said her mama also wants to meet me.
Alahai…ni yang lomah makcik!!

Salam 7 may.
me: Eiiii….Takutnyaaa!!!
rossa: Memang menakutkan. I sgt2 berdebar ni..

Hek-Ee-Ley..nikah sudah,
Beranak pun sudah.
Takat dfen prop eh? (yeay! manage to keep spelling rhyme)
Lolap mato yo lah!

P/s: See, I told you – nothing to worry about. Sape berani kacau beb!?