Write about…

..something I did for the last time without knowing it was the last time.

Updated: At the same time I was feeling blue & was writing this entry - a colleague of mine (part of husband & wife team merantau meninggalkan anak2 & keluarga jauh di seberang utk menuntut ilmu)received the news- his mother passed away. When they came here recently, the mother was doing alrite - siap bagi nasihat & bersalam2. She was warded right after the couple left her. They tried to make arrangement to go back immediately- but problem what with their passport being in-process for renewal. The saddest thing is...while the mother was in hospital & can no longer open her eyes, somebody put the fon near her, and the son can hear the soft voice of the mother saying his name again & again....
I told his wife, "Jangan rasa sedih & terkilan. Mungkin itu tandanya si Ibu mengingati semua anak2.." Yang jauh disebut2 memandangkan yang dekat dah ada disekelilingnya.
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The year was 2003. I just started my study in early July. My best-friend cum neighbour was getting engaged that final weekend in August. I was traveling back home every weekend. Ayah used to ask me to clip his finger nails. Coz mana ada anak lain yang buat best macam saya. So, he’d lay on his back & I’d start with soaking his fingers for a few minutes in warm water (at least wipe the feet first otherwise it will be difficult to clip the nails since they’re really tough). After clipping was done, I’d scrape/file the end of the nail to make sure he didn’t hurt himself while scratching. Extra pampering will include using the cotton buds to clean his ears. But that weekend, I was on high with excitement – flitting between my neighbour’s house (for the engagement’s preparation) & home. So, when ayah asked me, I did it reluctantly…my heart was wondering elsewhere (and I was kinda mad at him because he promised that he’d come to my graduation earlier in mid-August - forgetting the fact that he’s already bed-ridden since 1999 but really, he looked like he’s getting better at that time and I wanted both of my parents to be there). Usually we used the whole time I did the ‘duty’ to chat about inconsequential things which was his way of catching up with my life.
His health deteriorated quickly in early Sept. He left us by September, 21th. I wish I could say, I’ve no regret.. al-Fatihah for ayah.

Ok, now I’m going to blow my nose & wipe away my tears..