It’s now Rajab and next is Sha’ban – the last two months leading to Ramadhan. Ayah passed away on 25th Rajab 1424 Hijriah. Last Sunday, 14th Rajab, my uncle (mak’s youngest sis’s hubby aka Ochu Jantan) passed away peacefully. All his childrens were at his bedside.
Our family wasn’t told about him being warded in the hospital, otherwise we all could have visited him. He’s already bed-ridden since last year – complication with diabetes & everything.
I wasn’t around for his burial on Monday but I did pay my respect much earlier.
For the last time, I asked for the permission to see his face.
Everything reminds me of ayah again – it’s so surreal. I still remember the look on ayah’s face, staring at the face of death. His eyes were wide open but I guessed he wasn’t really seeing things like we were seeing them. We’re taking turn (Ah Long mostly) repeating the syahadah in his ears. I wondered what was he (or anyone else on a death roll) thinking at that precise moment. How did he feel at that moment? Is it so difficult to let go? I was torn in between pleading for him to fight death away – to stay alive (I wasn’t ready, I guess even at no time we’ll be ever ready to face death) and granting the permission to let go. Mak was saying, “Pergilah, pergilah…..kami semua redha…” Before that she already asked for his forgiveness and make peace with him and all of us who were around did that too. In between inhaling his last long breaths…he passed away silently.
Innalillahiwa’inna ‘ilaihiraji’un. (Dari Allah dia datang dan kepada Allah dia kembali)
Only death & taxes are certain.
Info:
1. The signs to look for in very near death. Pay attention to the nose and feet/ankles. They simply droop.
Our family were so lucky – out of the blue, 2 female neighbours (Che’ Bedah and Induk) chosed to come and stay back with our family on that particular evening, after Maghrib. They are like our angels of mercy. Since the next day was a Monday, my eldest brother was getting ready to leave for his house (my youngest bro was already on his way to Penang for a meeting –Er konon?). My dad had been in comatose-like condition for days – no drinking, talking whatsoever. We had already had the Yaasin recital for 3-days the week before. They told my Ah Long not to leave my ayah at all especially from that moment. When ayah passed away at around 10:25pm, they even stayed until morning came – reciting the Quran verses with us.
2. Near death – buang tebiat. Ayah wanted air sarsi (carbonated drink)– mak (and he too) knew it wasn’t good for him because of his stomach ulcer. She diluted it with lotsa water.
3. Death comes in three. Dunno. Mak said, usually Allah call back His long suffering servants during the months of Rajab, Sya'ban and Ramadhan - those who're not around for the fajr of Syawal 1st - no need to pay for their zakat fitrah.
4. In Islam, we believe in the hereafter. This world is after all just a stageshow for the permanent life.
P/s: I’ve said it before and I will say it again – if only I could turn back time, there’s so much I want to do for him. Mak dan ayah – tiada dua, tiada galang gantinya. Berbaktilah semasa mereka masih ada.
Our family wasn’t told about him being warded in the hospital, otherwise we all could have visited him. He’s already bed-ridden since last year – complication with diabetes & everything.
I wasn’t around for his burial on Monday but I did pay my respect much earlier.
For the last time, I asked for the permission to see his face.
Everything reminds me of ayah again – it’s so surreal. I still remember the look on ayah’s face, staring at the face of death. His eyes were wide open but I guessed he wasn’t really seeing things like we were seeing them. We’re taking turn (Ah Long mostly) repeating the syahadah in his ears. I wondered what was he (or anyone else on a death roll) thinking at that precise moment. How did he feel at that moment? Is it so difficult to let go? I was torn in between pleading for him to fight death away – to stay alive (I wasn’t ready, I guess even at no time we’ll be ever ready to face death) and granting the permission to let go. Mak was saying, “Pergilah, pergilah…..kami semua redha…” Before that she already asked for his forgiveness and make peace with him and all of us who were around did that too. In between inhaling his last long breaths…he passed away silently.
Innalillahiwa’inna ‘ilaihiraji’un. (Dari Allah dia datang dan kepada Allah dia kembali)
Only death & taxes are certain.
Info:
1. The signs to look for in very near death. Pay attention to the nose and feet/ankles. They simply droop.
Our family were so lucky – out of the blue, 2 female neighbours (Che’ Bedah and Induk) chosed to come and stay back with our family on that particular evening, after Maghrib. They are like our angels of mercy. Since the next day was a Monday, my eldest brother was getting ready to leave for his house (my youngest bro was already on his way to Penang for a meeting –Er konon?). My dad had been in comatose-like condition for days – no drinking, talking whatsoever. We had already had the Yaasin recital for 3-days the week before. They told my Ah Long not to leave my ayah at all especially from that moment. When ayah passed away at around 10:25pm, they even stayed until morning came – reciting the Quran verses with us.
2. Near death – buang tebiat. Ayah wanted air sarsi (carbonated drink)– mak (and he too) knew it wasn’t good for him because of his stomach ulcer. She diluted it with lotsa water.
3. Death comes in three. Dunno. Mak said, usually Allah call back His long suffering servants during the months of Rajab, Sya'ban and Ramadhan - those who're not around for the fajr of Syawal 1st - no need to pay for their zakat fitrah.
4. In Islam, we believe in the hereafter. This world is after all just a stageshow for the permanent life.
P/s: I’ve said it before and I will say it again – if only I could turn back time, there’s so much I want to do for him. Mak dan ayah – tiada dua, tiada galang gantinya. Berbaktilah semasa mereka masih ada.
Note: Pic of grave not 'belong' to ayah.
3 comments:
Interesting post which brought back memories of my dad's last hours.
I was told that when you hear an owl, that is a sign that someone in the house is nearing death. I did not believe it until I remembered a day after my dad's death that I heard the owl four day's earlier. I remember thinking when I heard the owl - "that's a haunting sound. I have never heard that owl before. So weird."
al fatihah to the deceased one... u must be missing him a lot eh?
j.t.
Oh, so you've been thru the same thing ya? I don't know which is worst - not being able to be there by their side or going thru the same motion again?
Sorry to hear abt ur dad too. If I'm not mistaken both of your parents are gone right? May they rest in peace.
That owl's haunting sounds (day time or at nite? what a question!) are one of the many 'signs' that surround us.
simah,
Thank you. The fact is, I feel like I've not done enough for him when I could...so that's hard to swallow. And I'm ashamed of myself.
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