She ain’t heavy, she’s my mother

I’m the kind of person who blast (er, mumble? blur really) through life –you know – speaking out the first thing that comes to my mind, often times care less of others. Like when you’re in a function, feeling so shy and sitting at a table with strangers. Suddenly you saw a familiar face across the room & there you go - jumping quickly into another table! Like the other day, I was talking to a friend while checking out the Ramadhan bazaar. She just got married last month & she’s going to Essex next week for further studies (alone, the hubby will follow much later next year). I asked her, “So, turn rumah mana raya tahun ni?” I was thinking of her newly married status & on the usual couples’ major decision (or fight) of where to celebrate raya first. Only when she returned my question with an uncomfortable silence & look then I realised what a sadist question that was….she’s going to celebrate raya far away from home in a foreign country for the first time & without her newly ‘acquired’ husband!
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So, the first few days of Ramadhan was spent at kampong. Mak told me of her first night of tarawih experience at the mosque. Mak is big, has had a total knee replacement (TKR) operation done in 2005 –doctor’s advise & at our urging. From then on she cannot pray normally i.e. going through the motions of standing up, bowing, kneeling & sitting down properly. She prays by sitting on a chair.
For Muslims, when praying together – the lines must be not broken i.e. everybody must stand close to each other and in a straight line too. Mak usually chooses the end of a row for her position. There were not that many ladies praying in our local mosque. There were also teenage girls (and few kids but they aren’t praying). So, when it comes to prayer time on the first night, the teenage girls (already baligh I guess) were invited to join the one and only row (saf) with mak completing the end.
During the first set of prayers (Isyak), there were a few more girls coming in. Somehow, before the next round of prayers (tarawih), the girls in front row moved back to join the newcomers & started to giggle and gossip in between prayers. Mak felt slighted. Just because she’s old, being discriminate at….
She already has the so-called inferiority complex – being no longer like normal people. Especially at the mosque when everybody sitting down on the floor –she’s standing out like a sore thumb! She’s kinda regret her decision to go for the operation since –yes, the excruciating pain went away but now - she’s uncomfortable with the unwarranted attention… Perhaps, there’s also a need for post-op counselling much like those receivers of organ donations (liver or heart transplants) on how to cope with life after TKR, moving on & have no regret!

My point is: being older make us more sensitive of being accepted by our society.
To the young people out there: think of actions and its consequences.
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I wasn’t around when that happened. Since this is my mak that we’re talking about, I felt an urgent need to defend her. So, the next day after making my ways to neighbours’ houses to pass on some perciks (sis no.4 makings) right before Maghrib, I saw two girls lepakking beside the road. I did what I simply had to – briefed them on what had happened & urged them to pass along the message -please tell your friends (it wasn’t them but they also go for prayers at the mosque), imagine it’s your mother that sit on that chair!
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Advisor No.3’s goin-to-be candidate is also a friend of mine. While she was having a discussion with him last week (& she knows of my predicament), she brought up my name blahblah. I’m really grateful to her coz in a way she makes him aware of my existence & almost finishing status.
So, while I was safely ensconced at kampong home last Saturday – he messaged: Finished reviewing your paper. Come and see me at 8am on Monday. My schedule is rather tight.
Oh, was I ever more excited to see him? But, I’ve a class schedule at the same time. So, I messaged him back particularly about my part-time teaching on Monday morning as well as Thursday and asking for the possibility of rescheduling the meeting after 11am on Monday or any other day/time. He replied later – See you at 10.30am. How could I say no? When it’s obvious only to me that I’m teaching elsewhere –thus need to take into account travelling time & the fact that getting a parking slot at the varsity after 9am is really a hassle? I just said OK.

On Monday, after rushing out immediately once the class was dismissed, I reached his office (panting & puffing heavily) late – but it wasn’t even 10.40am. His PA told me, he’s already on his way to KL. A quick call to him confirmed the fact that he’s on his way & I was late. Funny, don’t you think - coming out from a person who made me & two other committee members waited for more than half an hour just because he messed up on his scheduling. Am I surprised at all when there was another candidate who waited (more like camping) at the office for two whole days just to get his signature?
He said – I’ll call you later today. To this date, I never received any.

Plan of actions – prays for his peace of mind (not giving up yet). Don’t do unto others…
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Progress report
Am moving on with correction of Essay III. Essay II is almost done except that I’m stuck with parts of the analysis – no help from No.1. Not even a sound from No.2.
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Am I having an obsession with weight?bulimia nervosa?
Why almost everytime after sahur when I brush my teeth I will throw up some (makruh -yes, but I couldn’t help it)? But not after iftar? I’ve tried changing the toothpaste, tooth brush, standing up, sitting down, an hour late etc. Help.