Public Apologies (To A)

This is from the bottom of my heart.
I made mistakes and I regret it very much.

Salah faham.
Berburuk-sangka.
Bertindak melulu ikut perasaan tanpa mengambilkira perkara sebenar.
Melukakan hati seorang teman.
Menuduh sembarangan je.
Pentingkan diri sendiri.
Tak menepati janji/kata.
Payah terima teguran.

I’m sorry for all of the above and most probably countless other mistakes (and to other people like all family members, friends like Naz, Shida, Ifa, (now defunct) Laila’s Blog, Rosza, acquaintances like all of my frog princes, sifus esp. disertation committee, YOU –my blog friends...-not in any order lah, strangers-to-me like pa*lah, kj and ct) too.
I really appreciate the fact that a friend, A True Friend (I’m honoured) to say the least, took the trouble to right the wrongs that I did, still willing to excuse my poor behaviour, at the same time pray the best for my future undertakings, and most importantly grant forgiveness without me asking for it. (In a way, I’m glad that I did blog about it. Otherwise, I’ll be forever thinking unkindly of her when all she did was to help me in any way she could)
I’m also deeply ashamed of all the thoughts that went through my head, my treatment of family and friends (No excuses for that, other than my poor inability to understand and communicate with people), and will forever be unsettled, restless and disturbed (kalau mati mata tak pejam nih – hutang sesama manusia- thanks for pointing it out), unless you people find it in your heart to forgive me. Please do.

Dear A (and all),
Like I said in the earlier entry, I’m very much indebted to you – I owe you lots! I don’t know why or how God decides to bless my existence with your presence (This is rad being a tad melodramatic. Not) – but I really wish for us to remain as close-friends. I’ll try to change (this is going to be hard, really, coz I’m relatively old & very much set in my ways) all the negative traits that you’ve mentioned & I hope you will be around to guide me along the way. I want to be more open, at the same time ‘in control’ of myself and be good to the surrounding people. No more mad rad (pinch me if I’m mad again), insyaAllah.

For all the good deeds you did, I wish that Allah pays you back doubled, tripled in kindness. May you & family be blessed with all the happiness in the world. Amen.

With heartfelt apologies.

Sincerely,
-rad-

P/s: As a first step – this morning, instead of throwing the unwashed mug(s) used by my colleague(s) which deeply trouble my sight, I’d wash it on their behalf. Maybe they forgot about it again or perhaps running out of time. And somebody got a real shocker lastnite as I promptly replied his msgs...See, I'm trying..