Givin’ up is SO much easier..

Update: I'm reading 'Christopher Phillips, Socrates Café p-116' again. It's relevant to the current situation.

Question: “Is the glass half empty or half full?”

According to the author; “There’s something wrong with this question. It seems to allow only two possible answers. The problem with this question as set forth is a mirror of the problem with society at large. All too often we’re indoctrinated (serious accusation but we’re worthy of to be blamed) to think in terms of “either-or”. Is that man good or is he evil? Is that child gifted or isn’t she? But, has it ever occurs to you that a child can be gifted in many ways, and not so in many others; that a man can be good in many ways, and yet evil in others.”

I say, what we need is a ‘Paradigm Shift’. Not only in the way we thinked. But more specifically on how we ask questions. I think lawyers can easily call this technique as ‘leading questions’ seeing how they are capable of misleading us into saying (not only from too much American movies but from actually watched proceedings at the syariah court – You know, “Objection Your Honor/ Bantahan Yang Arif!”) exactly the things that they want! Nolo contendere.

“It is half empty and half full.”.. “It’s half full of water and half empty of water.”

“It’s half empty and half empty! It’s half empty of air and half empty of water.”

“It’s completely full. It’s full of water and air molecules.”

“But it’s completely empty too, empty of lots of things. It’s empty of everything but water and air.”

“What about that thing in the middle there?” … “Where the water and the air meet. That doesn’t have anything to do with empty or full, does it?”
(Eg. of paradigm shift I guess! But you can also argue, “That’s not answering the question!”)
Well …

Coming from kids (5th grader), these are mind-boggling answers indeed!

You know that PhD (Ekon) is not meant for you when..

First, after 4 years of trying and failing again and again the comprehensive exams, you decided that a change of faculty might do you good. And voila! There you’re now with a proposal already presented and approved within a semester!
(Well, actually he’s not from the economic background and thus the switch to Islamic faculty does made life easier for everyone involved. An Indo couple switched to faculty apa-ntah & now already at the stage of analyzing data –that was a fast job! Another foreign student (Yamani) switched to Math faculty & progressing well too. I know, you’re probably thinking that Math is more difficult…)

Second, after years of commuting between Melaka and here, and getting to the first of three comprehensive exams, you decided- “I’ve had enough!”
(I’m doin’ it on a fulltime basis – trust me it’s already hard. Imagine doin’ it part-time while you’re working fulltime on a job with all the commitments that it does entail.. If you think that’s nothing, imagine another one trying to conceive at the same time after years of trying (a couple of miscarriages– add to the statistic! Last I heard, she’s giving it another try at another uni. All the best!)

Third,
At every stage, you’re only given 2 chances. Fail a comprehensive exam, there’s a second one. Present you proposal- if you fail then you’ve got another try. Viva with a resubmission – there’s hope for you yet. Fullstop.
(They had been given a third chance (for the final time ever) - a final go at the comprehensive exam. Only one decided to go for it & the other two said, “Enough is enough..”

Fourth,
..

These are some of the people that I know…
Oh, last I know - they’re much happier now.

Next;
You are so mad, frustrated & ran out of swear words. Head banging on the table/wall is already taken under consideration. What stopped you cold was the fact that you need to sober up & keep on thinking straight. You’ve also considered hurling/burning/smashing into smithereens your notes, files, PC, laptop, radio etc. but your mind did remember in good time – Ka-ching!! Which you couldn’t afford to waste away. Getting a 2K grant does help only in a small way..)

You remember the Thomas Edison story when he said (after failing to create a light bulb for the thousand times), “Now I know of 999 ways of how not to do it..” or something like that. (You've been working on the data set for months now and it only takes a minute yesterday to find out – Puff!! It’s all wrong..) Talk about salvaging your work…

You cried. Alone. Many times. Helpless. Then you realized, only Allah will always be with you/ there for you. At all times. You just need to ask. Nicely.